The British Telegraph reports that Prof. Mark Post of Maastricht University in the Netherlands has cultured artificial meat in a lab, using cow stem cells and serum. “In October,” he said, “we are going to provide a proof of concept showing out of stem cells we can make a product that looks, feels and hopefully tastes like meat. Eventually my vision is that you have a limited herd of donor animals in the world that you keep in stock and that you get your cells from there. Each animal would be able to produce about a million times more meat through the lab-based technique than through the traditional method of butchery.”
Although it may sound like a Soylent Green plot come to life, artificial meat actually makes a lot of sense when you look at the numbers. Maybe we'll see a chain of McFrankenburgers around the world, also serving genetically engineered fries and vegetables — like ketchup.
As carnivores, we are rapidly exhausting declining fresh water supplies worldwide, including the giant Ogallala aquifer that fuels the breadbasket of America. In the arid Southwest, many aquifers are bone dry or close to it. Estimates vary, but it takes 10-17 pounds of vegetable matter, mainly corn, to produce 1 pound of beef — a ruinously inefficient use of water. Yes, that 1 pound of beef is concentrated protein, but it also concentrates a toxic soup of herbicides, pesticides, hormones, prions and antibiotics largely if not mainly responsible for our soaring health care costs.
John Robbins' book “The Food Revolution” spelled it out 10 years ago, and I'm sure the stats are even more dramatic now: 25-30% lower rates of almost every type of cancer, cardiovascular disease and other maladies for vegetarians over meat-eaters. Pure vegans have even better rates. One long-term, post-mortem study in England determined that 14% of Alzheimer's patients actually had Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, or Mad Cow Disease, from eating contaminated beef.
Maybe the prospect of artificially generating meat in giant petri vats strikes us as bizarre or even repulsive, but is it as repulsive as cannibalizing cows with a stew of body parts that hatch brain-eating diseases? Or as repulsive as the Pink Slime recently revealed as an additive to most U.S. meat? Or the wretched life of a veal calf? The cow cannibalism and Pink Slime are efforts at recycling to make the beef industry more efficient. But what if the Frankenburger can be produced even more efficiently, using a fraction of the fresh water used for ranch beef, and without all the toxic sludge and waste (only 60% of a cow is edible by humans)? Buy your stock now, because the world is getting hungrier.
That would most likely be Monsanto stock, if they're able to wrangle another patent and monopoly on it. Hopefully, Prof. Post and Maastricht University don't sell out and will keep the process open source. If they can just make it taste like veal, or at least better than Spam, they may see it take over a big chunk of the tofu market. I have a venue suggestion for their big rollout test in the fall.
After the Big Crash of '08, an elite joint near Wall Street started selling deluxe hamburgers to our lords of finance — for $200. And that's not even a Whopper. Maybe the greenbloods thought eating burger would make a good show of contrition and solidarity with the rabble after their colossal and costly screw-up. But it comes across more like “Banksta in yo face!” The first edible lab patty will have cost 250,000 euros to produce, or $328,212. I'm sure our derivatives hustlers would savor every deliciously expensive bite, pronouncing it as exquisite as the flesh of some rare endangered turtle in the tropics.
And if something went horribly wrong with the experiment — like the lab patties accidentally infected with some virulent gene of Mad Cow Disease -- well, how much more brain damage could it do, really, to this species of ravenous parasites? The Bankster gangs have unleashed their spring offensive, flooding Washington with an army of lobbyists (five for every congressman) and loot to sabotage the Volcker Rule of the Dodd-Frank reform bill — a reinstatement of the venerable Glass-Steagull Act that for 60 years prevented a repeat of 1929.
And with virtually 100% of Republicans and a majority of Democrats in their pockets, they'll probably succeed in more sabotage, demonstrating that the nation is chronically and incurably infected with Mad Banker Disease.
----------------------
Travis Kelly is a web/graphic designer, writer and cartoonist in Grand Junction. See his work or contact him atwww.traviskelly.com.
Although it may sound like a Soylent Green plot come to life, artificial meat actually makes a lot of sense when you look at the numbers. Maybe we'll see a chain of McFrankenburgers around the world, also serving genetically engineered fries and vegetables — like ketchup.
As carnivores, we are rapidly exhausting declining fresh water supplies worldwide, including the giant Ogallala aquifer that fuels the breadbasket of America. In the arid Southwest, many aquifers are bone dry or close to it. Estimates vary, but it takes 10-17 pounds of vegetable matter, mainly corn, to produce 1 pound of beef — a ruinously inefficient use of water. Yes, that 1 pound of beef is concentrated protein, but it also concentrates a toxic soup of herbicides, pesticides, hormones, prions and antibiotics largely if not mainly responsible for our soaring health care costs.
John Robbins' book “The Food Revolution” spelled it out 10 years ago, and I'm sure the stats are even more dramatic now: 25-30% lower rates of almost every type of cancer, cardiovascular disease and other maladies for vegetarians over meat-eaters. Pure vegans have even better rates. One long-term, post-mortem study in England determined that 14% of Alzheimer's patients actually had Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, or Mad Cow Disease, from eating contaminated beef.
Maybe the prospect of artificially generating meat in giant petri vats strikes us as bizarre or even repulsive, but is it as repulsive as cannibalizing cows with a stew of body parts that hatch brain-eating diseases? Or as repulsive as the Pink Slime recently revealed as an additive to most U.S. meat? Or the wretched life of a veal calf? The cow cannibalism and Pink Slime are efforts at recycling to make the beef industry more efficient. But what if the Frankenburger can be produced even more efficiently, using a fraction of the fresh water used for ranch beef, and without all the toxic sludge and waste (only 60% of a cow is edible by humans)? Buy your stock now, because the world is getting hungrier.
That would most likely be Monsanto stock, if they're able to wrangle another patent and monopoly on it. Hopefully, Prof. Post and Maastricht University don't sell out and will keep the process open source. If they can just make it taste like veal, or at least better than Spam, they may see it take over a big chunk of the tofu market. I have a venue suggestion for their big rollout test in the fall.
After the Big Crash of '08, an elite joint near Wall Street started selling deluxe hamburgers to our lords of finance — for $200. And that's not even a Whopper. Maybe the greenbloods thought eating burger would make a good show of contrition and solidarity with the rabble after their colossal and costly screw-up. But it comes across more like “Banksta in yo face!” The first edible lab patty will have cost 250,000 euros to produce, or $328,212. I'm sure our derivatives hustlers would savor every deliciously expensive bite, pronouncing it as exquisite as the flesh of some rare endangered turtle in the tropics.
And if something went horribly wrong with the experiment — like the lab patties accidentally infected with some virulent gene of Mad Cow Disease -- well, how much more brain damage could it do, really, to this species of ravenous parasites? The Bankster gangs have unleashed their spring offensive, flooding Washington with an army of lobbyists (five for every congressman) and loot to sabotage the Volcker Rule of the Dodd-Frank reform bill — a reinstatement of the venerable Glass-Steagull Act that for 60 years prevented a repeat of 1929.
And with virtually 100% of Republicans and a majority of Democrats in their pockets, they'll probably succeed in more sabotage, demonstrating that the nation is chronically and incurably infected with Mad Banker Disease.
----------------------
Travis Kelly is a web/graphic designer, writer and cartoonist in Grand Junction. See his work or contact him atwww.traviskelly.com.
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